Divorce and holidays Keeping bah humbugs away

This is the time of year when you probably start thinking about all the favorite traditions you share with your children during the holidays. Perhaps you’ve even ventured out to stores in Texas to buy a few gifts or get groceries in preparation of your celebrations.

Such times are special, and memories you and your family build can be cherished a lifetime. If this holiday is a little different because you’re going through divorce, you might be a bit concerned with not letting stressful issues ruin your holiday fun.

Take Control of Your Own Situation

Allowing your imagination and worries to get the best of you will obviously do more harm than good. Just because this holiday season will be new and different from your past, doesn’t mean you and your children won’t have a wonderful time together.

To keep divorce stress at a minimum, the following ideas may help:

• Be proactive:  You’ll likely spend lots of time entertaining family and friends this holiday season. Remember, you can choose your own guest list. Trying not to place yourself or your children in any situation that may cause discord may help protect the joy of your holidays.
• Different doesn’t necessarily mean worse:  It’s natural you and your children may experience moments of nostalgia when recalling holidays past that occurred before your marital split. However, you have a lifetime ahead to create new memories and just because things have somewhat changed doesn’t mean holidays from here on out can’t be wonderful, too.
• Simplify:  You’ve had a major life change. Your friends and family will understand if you scale back on gift-giving and keep things simple as you adapt to your new lifestyle. Trying to do too much may be counterproductive and wind up adding to the stress you’re already feeling.
• Be willing to compromise:  It’s likely your children will want to spend time with both parents during the holiday season. Planning ahead to avoid confrontation can help you prevent emotional outbursts and problematic situations. Compromise and cooperation are typically valuable tools.

If at all possible, you may just want to set divorce issues aside during the holidays so you can focus on yourself and your children as you forge new life paths together.

At this time, you might be thinking: What if the other person involved refuses to cooperate?

Protect your rights

Maybe you’ve done your best to raise the peace flag and plan a holiday season for your children filled with good cheer and plenty of family time, only to be met with contention and trouble.

Have you been told you can’t see your children for Christmas or New Year? Have your plans been opposed every step of the way? Do you have an existing court order to which the other parent involved refuses to adhere?

These and other related matters are not minor issues and certainly have potential to ruin your first post-divorce holiday season. Remember that you have rights and may reach out for support to protect those rights, as well as keep the best interests of your children at heart.

• So long as your requests and plans coincide with instructions in any existing court order, the law is on your side.
• If you need to request modification to a plan already approved by the court, you can do so by seeking assistance from a family law attorney.
• If the issue at hand is threatening your rights or posing as a detriment to your relationship with your children, you can actively pursue justice by appealing to the court for help.

By seeking clarification of the laws that govern family matters in Texas and making informed decisions, you may exercise your parental rights to resolve the problems at hand. Relying on skilled and experienced guidance is one way to obtain swift and satisfactory solutions to your current divorce issues so you and your children can get back to enjoying your holiday fun.